Living with a Roommate
Roommate Agreements
When you arrive on campus, your Resident Advisor (RA) will discuss the Housing and Residential Life Roommate Agreement, which can be found in your Housing and Dining Portal beginning in mid-August. The Roommate Agreement is a tool to assist in the discussion between you and your roommate(s) about what living together means and your personal preferences. It will also assist in resolving a conflict or if a disagreement arises.
This is a dynamic document that can be revisited and modified, as you and your roommate(s) and/or suitemates learn how you will share your living space. Even if you are a returning student and are living with other students you know, you should still fill out the Roommate Agreement as soon as you move in. The Roommate Agreement can be a critical tool in establishing good communication and establishing boundaries before roommates face any challenges when sharing a living space.
Connecting with your Roommate
Connecting with a college roommate(s) and/or suitemates can be an exciting and rewarding experience. Here are some tips to help you establish a positive and supportive relationship.
Introduce Yourself
Take the initiative to introduce yourself to your roommate(s)/suitemates before Move-In. You can reach out via email, social media, or a messaging app to break the ice and start getting to know each other. Even if you are a returning student, if you are not living with other students you know, it is still important to connect.
Communicate Openly
Communication is key to building a strong roommate relationship. Be open and honest about your expectations, preferences, and concerns regarding shared living arrangements. Even if you were friends or knew each other before living together, sharing an on-campus housing space can be different. Establishing clear communication from the start can help prevent misunderstandings later in the semester.
For example, before you arrive on campus, it is helpful to communicate with your roommate who is bringing particular items. Are you both renting MicroFridges? Are you both bringing a vacuum cleaner?
Discussing common living standards would be helpful to create a harmonious space, including behavior and habits. For example, talking through different sleep schedules, varying cleanliness standards, guest policies and overnight visitors, noise levels during study time, sharing commons spaces and belongings, and differing social preferences.
Respecting Boundaries
Knowing and respecting your roommate and/or suitemate’s personal space and boundaries is essential. Be mindful of their schedule, habits, and need for privacy. Discuss boundaries regarding guests, noise levels, and sharing personal belongings to ensure mutual respect and harmony. If you don’t know yours yet or have not shared a living space/bedroom with another person before, spend time reflecting on your values and boundaries before discussing them with your roommate. If you’re still unsure, ask those who you may live with about your preferences. For example, “My mom said I hit the snooze button 10 times before getting out of bed.”
Get to Know Each Other
Take the time to plan and participate in activities together. Whether it's grabbing a meal in one of the many Cornell Dining eateries, attending campus events, or exploring the local area, spending quality time together outside of your room can help foster friendship and camaraderie. With the shared goal of living together in harmony, establishing solid communication with your roommate(s) and/or suitemates is key. While we are socialized to believe becoming friends with your roommate and/or suitemates is vital to on-campus living satisfaction, it is not. Students can find their own social groups outside of their roommate and/or suitemates and still enjoy where and with whom they live. Cornell is a big campus with many students, so do not worry about being best friends, but instead creating an amicable living environment.
By following these tips and approaches, you can establish a positive and fulfilling relationship with your new roommate(s) and/or suitemates. Remember to approach the experience with an open mind, patience, and willingness to embrace new connections and experiences.
Focusing on Resolution and Compromise
Conflict is a natural part of life and can happen when sharing a living space. If you find that your roommate and/or suitemates are not following your agreed-upon Roommate Agreement, we encourage you to revisit the document to see if items should be further discussed or modified. After trying to have this conversation together, if disagreements are still present, please reach out to your Resident Advisor (RA). RAs are trained in conflict mediation and how to have challenging conversations. Finally, if you have found the disagreement still remains, please reach out to your Residence Hall Director (RHD). RHDs have extensive knowledge on managing roommate/suitemate challenges, effective communication, and will help to find a solution.