There we go. Alright. Okay, why don't we get started. I'm going to begin the recording now if everybody's ready for that. Alright. Good evening. My name is Greg Foster. I am the Pre-law and Pre Graduate School Advisor at Cornell Career Services. And together tonight with Kate Navickas. Kate, I'm I'm not sure I'm pronouncing that correctly and I apologize, Am I right about that? Navickas. Navickas, I'm so sorry and Zack Grobe both from the Cornell Writing Center. We're going to have a conversation about application statements for graduate school. And we're thrilled that so many people are joining us tonight. Very happy to have an opportunity to kind of bring together two, two units at Cornell that don't always are frequently don't present together, but probably should be. And so I think the structure tonight, just very brief overview will be I'll offer just a few short comments about statements of purpose and personal statements in the graduate school application setting. And then I'll turn it over to Kate and Zack and the tutors who were present tonight to carry us from there. I want to provide as much time as we can for Kate and Zack and the tutors to, uh, to work with you. So I'm going to try to move through what I had to say relatively quickly. And since Kate is controlling the screen, I'm going to politely ask to advance the slide. Alright, for almost everybody who's applying to graduate school, the programs you're applying to are going to ask you to draft and submit one of two kinds of statements, a personal statement and a statement of purpose. They both require a somewhat different approach, and I just want to briefly outline those two approaches in the next couple of minutes so we can advance the slide here, please. Alright. With regard to statements of purpose, this is a somewhat more formal and academic document. It's intended to show your academic background and professional experience in a specific field. The field that hopefully the program you're applying to is in. I like to break that statement down into three parts. At least as far as describing what should probably be contained in the statement. And these parts don't have to be articulated in this order or in exactly this way. But these are areas that it's helpful to address and statement of purpose. So really, I think if you think about it in this way, it can be easier to draft. You want to show the program, the work you've done so far. So how have your undergraduate studies, your work experience including internships or research projects. And overall, your background related to proposed graduate field of concentration, the type of program you're applying to. Second, let the program know what you want to do in the future. What kinda work do you want to do once you have your degree? So that could be related to the type of research interests you have and your career goals. And then third, tried to describe for the program how this particular graduate program will help you do the work you want to do in the future. Now what does your research about this program reveal? And hopefully what's happening here with the statement of purpose. Oops, we just jumped ahead, but that's okay. Hopefully what happens with the statement of purpose? That you express the fit, the fit between you and the school. And and so that's really kind of where you're heading with this statement of purpose. All right, now we can advance to the next slide. Alright, thanks. Okay, personal statement, a little bit different. I think you want to accomplish two things with the personal statement. Typically, you want to introduce yourself to the admissions committee, and you want to positively differentiate yourself from other applicants. And how do you do that? Well, it's a good idea to discuss the work that you've done. Work that you'd like to do in the future sounds a little bit like the statement of purpose. It's also a good idea to talk about what inspires you to do this work. And I think that can be helpful too, because it says a little bit about commitment. And I think that that is not, not a bad idea in terms of how you might differentiate yourself from, from other applicants. Now, I think is also important in a personal statement to think about what the readers of your statement are looking for. Meaning, what do they want to see in your application? What's relevant in your application or in your essay. So how do you find that kind of information? Well, certainly you can check the application materials themselves, see what the programs are asking for. If there's a prompt for your essay, be sure to respond to that prompt. Adhered to what's being asked there. And then finally, try to demonstrate that you have researched the program, that you know what that program has to offer. I think that can be helpful as well. Again, that I can express fit. They can also express your level of interest in the program. And I guess also it can be helpful and personal statement to showcase your skills. And that means. First being sure you know which skills are relevant to the kind of work that you'll do in a program. And finally, and I'm sure that Kate and Zack will, will, will hit on this too. You want to display strong writing abilities, want to end up with a clear and succinct statement that shows that you've done your homework about the program and that you're enthusiastic about the field of study. So basically those are the two kinds of statements that he might be writing. And that's sort of an outline of how you might approach both of them. And now I will turn it over to Kate and Zack to pick it up from here. Thanks, Greg. So sorry, my sudden turn. So Zach and we're going to talk about kind of four ways to write a successful statement. And we're kind of choosing as a framework, meaningful stories. And the point of that is that they connect both personal statements as well as statements of purpose. So a lot of the things we're going to be talking about apply to both and when you're in terms of the writing moves. But what distinguishes the two as the kinds of stories, the content you pick for each of them is slightly different, right? So we're going to cover four big things today selecting those stories, which we're going to really emphasize a lot. How much time you should spend on selecting stories, writing meaningful stories, establishing fit, which Greg talked about, and then reviewing your writing for substance. Something that happens later in the process. When we talk about those meaningful stories. And what we're getting at is that you're saying something that's genuine, that reflects an aspect of yourself. Something that's important demonstrates personal qualities. And also that you're able to articulate what is meaningful about that. And I often hear from applicants that they're concerned about sounding cliched or having this kind of cookie cutter statement or experience. Sorry, I kinda want to encourage you to believe in the importance and meaning of your experiences. No one has lived the life that you have, and being genuine and being really honest and reflective on that. There's a surefire way, sounding original and fresh. And we don't want to reduce these stories to just these four, there's endless amounts of stories. But one of the things we think that helps people brainstorm as many stories as possible as kinda seeing the scope of what stories people do tell. And so we've noticed four kind of common types of stories. So heritage stories, and these are really geared towards personal statements. These are stories of interests that help explain your family, where you're from, your cultural heritage, or some aspect of your identity. And often this is tied to what Greg was talking about in terms of inspiration for your future work. Academic stories can appear in either personal statements or statements of purpose. And these are, you know, stories of particular projects you've worked on, papers, you've written, group projects, programs, a specific book that inspired you any sort of most small moment in your academic work. The same thing is true of mentorship stories. They're very similar. They just kind of involve a person who has been an important factor in you coming to study this and wanting to pursue research. They could be living teachers you've worked with. But it could also be your sense of mentorship from famous authors or scientists who you feel as though maybe you've worked alongside of you've read so much. And then of course, stories of struggle. Stories of struggles are things that you've struggled with and how to navigate, how to deal with as a part of your trajectory towards graduate school. Now all of these stories and, but in particular stories of struggle have the risk of being cliched. So you want to try to be as specific and authentic with your own stories and kind of avoid some, some narratives that might sound too simplistic. So we often see that kind of I struggled but I overcame narrative. And it's okay if that is your story. Well, you kind of have to work to create the details and really put us in the moment and acknowledge maybe a little bit of how that might be a common narrative. So there's some kind of ways to work around that, but just something to kind of be aware of. So how you select the story. When people come to the Writing Center and work with the tutors, one of the things that we see the hangs up people a lot is they feel committed to the story that they wrote down first. We actually encourage people to backtrack a little bit and brainstorm as many stories as possible. In part because step two here and selecting a story that's meaningful is very tricky and important. And perhaps the most important part, and that's naming the value or y of each story. And what I mean by that is being able to articulate what this particular story tells readers about who you are as a person and why you want to pursue future research in this area are pursue a degree in law, for instance. All of the stories that you pick me to be connected to a strong why and sense of value for you. And then when you select stories, you know, each personal statement and a statement of purpose might have room for anywhere from one to three of these stories that are kind of collated around a theme. And that should be about your why or your kind of sense of the value of these stories. Sometimes people move across stories quickly, like and yet, sometimes they dwell on a story. But usually whether we're talking about academic stories or more personal ones. Thinking about them as stories and moments can help a little bit. And I just want to emphasize, I already said this, but I want to emphasize as soon as my slide changes. To just avoid that desire to be committed to the first story you come up with. Most people have many more stories than they realize you have. You just write down the first one that comes to mind, at least in our experience with writers, this happens. So if you can explain why this particular story is meaningful. And how it's meaningful for your purpose in a particular application prompt. Go back to brainstorming, right? And this is the significances. Talking out stories and sharing your drafts with as many people as possible is super important. So when you go about writing those meaningful stories, you're going to want to be succinct. Think of it as a snapshot. And you'll hear this, especially if you work with tutors and the language that we often used to describe the processes of showing versus telling. So you really want to put the readers in that moment. You don't need to get too caught up in retelling every single plot detail. But you do want to use things like adjectives, rich description, sensory detail. You can incorporate dialogue if relevant. And you might think about that difference between showing and telling as similar to the difference between stating and demonstrating. So letting your reader really witness the significance, the meaningfulness, the impact of a moment, is much more meaningful. It sticks with your reader to. Then just sort of assuring your reader that a moment you've described is important. If we can really see it, it means a lot to your reader. And you're also gonna want to be really explicit and how you connect that to the precise value or the why. So feel free to kind of come out in your reflection and show, alright, what is this story highlighting? Make it clear why you selected that story and its place in this narrative that you're articulating about the meaningfulness of your experiences. And you can also think about telling the story through the lens of the impacts that it had on you. So what impressions did it leave? What did it lead you to think and feel? How did your perspective shift? Why was this formative? Keeping those questions in mind can help you figure out how to tell that particular story and keep that narrative moment brief but really effective. So we have a few example paragraphs and normally this would be ideal if this were interactive, but I'm going to read this one out loud and Zack is going to talk through it. These are sample paragraphs from statements of purpose. This is a personal statement, one by somebody who applied and got into a Masters in social work. I'm going to read that and Zach, we'll talk through it. My dad was driving me home from swim practice one cold winter's night in 2011 when his cell phone rang with a call from my mother. I knew that something was wrong the moment that he sternly uttered "Stay there, don't go anywhere." My mom's brain overtaken with confusion, had walked our dog halfway across town to the local shopping center. She had lost complete control of her surroundings. Although there were signs... skipping lunch and taking hours to finish meals. Her irrationality was the catalyst that finally caused her anorexia to hit rock bottom, and finally cause my family to recognize the issue. I began to piece together her past behaviors, recognizing that what seems normal at the time was in fact, not normal at all. While my seventh-grade self witnessed during those initial months of recognition and treatment and has permanently instilled in me a sense of wariness and desire to understand individuals behavior. I began to read books about addiction, comparing and contrasting anorexia, desire for control, and addictive behaviors. To this day, I remained transfixed that the vast capacity of the human mind to turn against itself. But my education has since taught me how important external factors are in influencing behavior. Thanks, Kate. What I really like about this example paragraph is that I feel like I'm witnessing this scene. I liked that I'm oriented in time and space. I know that it's a cold winter's night, that it's 2011. And I think it's important that the writer here is registering the impact that these events have on them. And articulates this not just as a story, as details of a narrative, but is really reflecting. There's a reflective mode here. And I've seen how this person starting to develop their motivations. I see their intellectual curiosity here. They're sort of impulse to learn more and to investigate. And I like as well that this links back to the present day at the ends. So the statement or the paragraph here is not losing sight of the larger statement. And it's aim to articulate where they want to go, what their motivations are, now. Thanks, Zack. This is a different one. Zack's going to read this one. This is an example paragraph from a statement of purpose. Yeah. Alright. My interest in astrophysics and cosmology led me to join a research group working on the instruments for cosmic microwave background (CMB) projects under the supervision of Professor, Michael Niemack. The primary goal of my research was to study the magnetic shielding requirements for future CMB projects, such as the CCAT-prime and Simons Observatory. The magnetic shielding is crucial to prevent the external magnetic fields from the Earth and telescope motor from interfering with CMB measurements. To understand the properties of magnetic fields used for the detectors and the telescopes. I conducted precise magnetic field measurements inside a cylindrical magnetic shield by building required hardware such as a Helmholtz coil and teaching myself Python to automate data taking. I furthered the investigation by doing magnetic simulations using ANSYS Maxwell on a shield model, similar to the one in the lab. More detailed simulations enabled me to compare various shielding configurations proposed for future telescopes and provide motivation for the choice of magnetic shielding designs for the Simons Observatory, a new CMB project in Chile. Thanks Zack, that was a tricky one to read. So in this statement, this is more of a work story. This is one that might be in a statement of purpose, right? And often we get the question from writers. Well, should I not use any jargon, right? We get that question a lot. And jargon, it kind of only jargony if you're stretching yourself to use it. But what this paragraph does, is its not using jargon, its explaining a specific project this writer worked on - in great detail. So we get two things. One, we get the role of the writer in the project. So assuming that this was probably some sort of project, it's a larger project. there's more people involved. So we get a sense of what did this writer do? But we also gain a sense of their knowledge and their role, right? And that they did from self research too, they had to teach them about Python to do this work. So they kinda grew themselves within this. And then even though this is jargony for me, It's not my field. At the end of this we see this writer establishing the significance of this project. So more than just being in the data in the research collection with all of this technical terminology. At the end, we get a sense of the purpose of that research. Right? That this helped them compare configurations proposed for future telescopes and provide motivation for the choice of designs for a particular observatory, right? A particular project. So it's connecting the project to some sort of larger future, aims too. I think this is telling us a lot about this writer's sense in the field and the work that they're doing. So this is a really strong example of that kind of work. So in establishing fit in these statements, and I'll keep this brief as Greg touched upon this in the beginning. One of the key things to do is really research that department, you're gonna want to know which scholars are there, what kinds of work that is occurring within that department. The program's classes, opportunities that are offered, and also something about the Department's mission or culture. And you will really want to research the Institution as well. Depending on your field, unique archival or library holdings would be really valuable. There could be possible research centers or societies. Is there an interdisciplinary component? If so, what other departments might you be bringing into your work. If you need to go abroad, is their support for that? More generally, are there also particular funding opportunities unique to that Institution. Including things like reading groups. And you might also think about any engagement the local community too. Are there any kind of projects that would benefit or align with your work? Additionally, really connecting back to the values, the culture, the research of that Department. And try to keep that ongoing throughout. So you want to highlight how your experiences and your work is aligning with what is going on in the Department. And often towards the end of that statement of purpose, you're going to have a kind of brief area, usually, sometimes up to a paragraph and length. Where you name specific scholars and resources that are really aligned with your work that are going to benefit you and that you will contribute back to. So in those moments, it's good to avoid being presumptuous. You don't want to assume that a particular Scholar will take you on. That you will join a particular lab. But it is really important to go... I have researched these, I've located these, and I see how I could be an asset to them and how they could help me further my own work. So keep that humility, but also do name drop. And this feels particularly strange to people who aren't used to it, but this is establishing kind of that you've done your homework too. So we're going to read a good example of this, actually related to that last one. Stanford is an especially good environment to fulfill my goals because there are multiple faculty is involved and CMB polarization experiments. Moreover, I am attracted by the active study of sensors both inside Stanford and in the SLAC National Solitary Laboratory. I am interested in the possibility of working with Professor Chao-Lin Kou. His research on the BICEP Array instrument development matches my current background and interest. Professor Kou's strong involvement in the Ali-CMB project is also appealing to me, not only because it's the only plan project that will have access to the Northern sky. But also because I have considered working in China in the future. I'm also curious about Professor Kent Irwin's work on sensor development. I would love to continue my previous research on sensitive superconducting detectors. While having the opportunity to apply this technology for a broader range of purposes, like measurements of dark matter and X-rays produced by the SLAC accelerator. While I'm very focused on CMB research right now, I realize that in graduate school I will be exposed to other exciting areas that involve related experimental technique. I'm open to trying out one of these areas. Thanks Kate. So I think it's particularly important here that the writer is demonstrating that they're not just applying to Stanford because it's a big name. But that they really thoroughly researched this program, its resources, its faculty, the research that's occurring right now, and how that intersects with and aligns with their own aspirations. And they don't make any assumptions about, with whom they'll work. But they do name drop faculty. And they do show a great understanding of exactly what those faculty members are doing. How they might be able to work with them. And then a little more generally, how the resources of the program are empowering to their own work. But they don't get locked into a very specific niche. I really liked that the ending is about this kind of openness for where that research could go. I think it shows not just intellectual curiosity, but flexibility. Which anyone in STEM knows, when you are doing experiments, you fail and you succeed and you reevaluate and you adjust your approach. So I think the fact that there already showing that there, that kind of thinker, makes this paragraph on fit excellent. So we're kind of on time, but I'm going to try to cover two more quick writing tips for you. So one is, I talked about this a lot for all writing, not even applicant, just application writing. But reviewing your writing for substance. So application statements are very short, usually a page long. And so they need to be cautious and conservative regarding space. So I think about this either as packing in densely, as much meaning as possible into every sentence. Or you can think about it is not wasting space. But to do this, you want to write with specificity. And sometimes it can be hard to understand what it means to write with specificity. But I also think about you can look at your writing and look for what I call "fluffy" phrases. These are phrases that don't really carry enough meaning or don't do any work for the writer. So some examples of these are, I'm very passionate about "x." I have not always loved "x." And these are really moments of telling. Instead of kind of showing us why you love something, right? Show us a story in which you really show your passion about "x" instead of telling us this. The other two examples are also fluffy but in slightly different way. So not until entering Cornell University, however, did I have the opportunity to dedicate myself fully to refining what my heritage taught me. And just like many of us, I've been influenced by many teachers in my life. So that last one, for instance, it's a nice sentiment. But name who is the teacher that influenced you and name what qualities they influenced you? Where they charismatic and thoughtful. Where they experimental and wild, right? Tell us who or what are the characteristics of these teachers and in what way did they influence you? So it's about naming the specifics and what teachers. Right. So this is a way to kind of check your writing for substance after the fact. And often these are result of simply not having thought out your story enough for talked it out. Usually, these can get easily improved by kind of thinking through your purpose and your story's a little bit more. And then the final thing I'll say is a little bit about your process for writing these. Often people get hung up with intros. Intros are hard, but they're in particularly hard if you don't know what you're, where you're going and what your stories you're going to tell. So we're big advocates of starting with your stories first and then getting to your intro. And you shouldn't get too your intro until you really have a strong sense of your stories and your why. And then when you do get to your intro, I like to think about it more in terms of placing readers right in the middle. Getting to the point immediately. Don't waste time leading up to something put us right in the middle. That's what you have space for. Often people talk about it as a hook and that could be useful too. But I often think jumping right to the best point you have is a great place to start. Then don't worry about grammar, editing, or your sentence structure, until the week it's due. Often, my best advice is to share your stories and your essays, your drafts, with as many people as possible and to revise it multiple times. So don't worry about the grammar until you really have the story's well-written, packed full of meaning and clearly articulating a good why. So I don't know if we have time. I'll I guess we probably have time for this this last one. This is a great intro. Zack is going to read it for us. I am a storyteller, although it seems like the ancient bardic tradition - preserving a community's history while chronicling and commenting on its present through song and poetry - is only of use to oral cultures, my aim is to be a latter-day bard. Ancient bards served great lords as advisors, weaving their stories and a heroic epics, while disparaging their enemies with biting satire. Today's "great lords" do not need bards; they have Twitter. But there are people and even whole communities who have been routinely silenced, left out of the national narrative by exclusionary policies and social norms. They need their stories told. My life goal is to tell these hidden stories as best I can - until people who struggle to be heard have the space they need to tell their own. Thank you. So this is a student who got into law school with this intro. And she's using this metaphor of the story teller. By what's powerful about this is it's doing a lot more work than the metaphor assumes. So you want to think that graduate schools are going to look holistically applications to. So what I know about this writer who shared this with me, she was a Cornell, I think it's called Scholar. So it's kind of an interdisciplinary major. And she was studying Medieval History and Literature. And so not only is the metaphor good, and she's connecting it to a purpose, but it's also actual drawing on without being explicit about it in the subtle ways, all of the research in class that she's taken at Cornell. And if you saw her resume next to this, you would be how this metaphor and her knowledge about this kind of draws on those courses that information. Anything you want to add about that one Zack? No, I don't think so. Other than to say, I really like the fact that this metaphor doesn't eclipse the material, that it fits it really well. Because if you're trying to use a kind of central metaphor like this and it's forced. It can't really come across as cheesy and it can limit your ability to articulate the meaningfulness of your experiences. Yeah, so that... thank you for pointing that out Zach. It's a very advanced move. And for her it's directly connected to her "why" in her educational process at Cornell. Right? So it's not a random kind of metaphor, right? So that's what makes it work in her case, its genuine. Getting back to my aspect of good stories. Okay, so what we're going to do now, is... we're going to do a breakout group active week. We've brought a few tutors with us. And we're going to spend a good amount of time in groups of four in which we're going to ask you to share two of your example moments or stories with your group. I want you to talk through why you selected each story. And what you want readers to understand from your story. The values, the why, and the "so what" of each story. This gets back to our point that often the hardest part is picking a good story and being able to say why it is meaningful. And then as a group, we'd like you to brainstorm other ways to talk about the values and the why of the stories. So as listeners, what makes the story you just heard meaningful and what details do you need and want to know about the story? And then if you get done early, we're going to call folks back for a Q&A at the end. But if your group gets done, you can take a few minutes to kinda jot down some notes. And I know some of you may have brought drafts here, but we're big believers that the talking through stories can be just as powerful as reading drafts. So I am going to stop sharing my screen and put folks in breakout groups now.